happy valentine's from jake

Hey girls, Jake told me to wish you all a Happy Valentine's.

He also says, "You're welcome."

Oh, Jake, stop!

i can't get no satisfaction

For some unknown reason over the past couple of months I've been feeling very dissatisfied with what I'm doing with my life, and have been thinking about what I should be doing that would be more fulfilling to me. I want to do something that would help people.

I think I'm going to write a book. Like a real book. A publishable book. The kind of book people buy and add to their personal libraries. At least that's what I'm thinking at the moment.


I'm serious. Wish me luck.

you gotta try this

This really is crazy, you should try it. Just follow the instructions below.


1. Stare at the red dot on the girl’s nose for 30 seconds
2. After 30 seconds turn your eyes towards the ceiling
3. Keep blinking your eyes quickly!

say what??

I've told you all about this problem before. If you can't remember, go ahead and mozy on down to THIS POST to refresh your memory.

The problem is this: when I am scared, surprised, get hurt, or am driving, tiny little cursing gems seem to pop out of my mouth. That's not the worst thing in the world, but you have to understand - these choice words tend spill off my tongue at the most inopportune moments!

Like I said, you can review this post for a couple of past examples, but I have a couple more to add to the list. Maybe I shouldn't share these oh-so-publicly, but like I said it's not the worst thing in the world, and besides, I think it's kinda funny.

Scenario 1:

I always sing in the Stake Choir @ Stake Conference (unless I am sick). We had a Stake Conference not too long ago when Elder L. Tom Perry came to visit and speak to us. So, he's on the stand, and the choir is sitting on the first two rows of the De Jong Concert Hall so that getting on and off the stage would be easy.

Seeing as these conferences involve hundreds and hundreds of my peers as attendees, I always try to look my best, especially seeing as I'll be on stage a couple of times. This day in particular, I was wearing a floor length black dress, gold heels, and a ruched gold cardigan (yes, my ensemble is an important part of the story).

So as a choir we go up on stage and sing the first song. On the way back down to sit in the audience, as the concert hall is in silence and just as I'm about to reach my seat, one of my heels gets caught in my floor length dress, and I totally trip. I catch myself before I fall, but what I don't catch is the following phrase slipping out of my trap, "Oh sh*t!"

I was mortified. It was such an accident - the tripping and the vocabulary! I sat down and looked up on stage, and I swear Elder Perry was smiling right at me. Did he see and/or hear me? I'll never know. But I'm still so ashamed.



Scenario 2:

So I have a few major phobias in my life. Two of the biggest ones include these:

1. I live in constant fear of my home burning down (seriously - often when I'm on my way home from somewhere I'll expect to arrive welcomed by a pile of smoldering ashes).

2. I am deathly afraid of needles. When I have to get poked or see someone else getting poked I get flustered, I breath hard, I get hot, I get sweaty, and all the blood drains from my face. In the past I've hyperventilated, I've nearly fainted, I've passed out, etc. It's not pretty.

So this week I had to get some blood drawn at the doctor's office. Most of the aforementioned phobia symptoms were present. The nurse goes in to draw my blood and what comes out of my mouth at the moment of pricking? See scenario one, because my words were verbatim.

Gah! What is wrong with me? The best part of scenario two is that I go to BYU and am on their medical insurance, so this took place in the BYU Health Center in front of others who surely would never let such vulgarity escape their lips! Ha. Well, needless to say I apologized to the nurse, and luckily she didn't care at all and thought it was way funny.


Sigh. I gotta get a handle on this. I mean seriously - what's next??

introducing the 2012 Meliss Mantra: "don't worry, be happy"

I didn't blog very much in 2011 overall. This was due to several reasons, but largely it was because 2011 was a very hard year for me. And truth be told, it sadly seems the year was that way for a whole lot of people I know and love.

But 2011 is over, people! It's time for 2012, and my mantra for the year is "Don't Worry, Be Happy." I just decided on it tonight. Let me tell you why.

I haven't felt a lot of calmness or peace of mind over the past year in my heart/mind/spirit/body/emotions/etc. Overall I have felt a lot of stress, anxiety, depression, and a general sense of being overwhelmed with life - all of which feelings could be considered the antithesis of peace and calm. Over the past few days specifically I haven't been able to sleep because I'm very stressed and feel like my mind is going a million miles a minute. I'm sure we've all been there. So last night in my personal prayers I was pleading specifically that I'd be granted the blessing of calmness in my mind and life.

Fast forward to this morning, when on a whim I finally watched the video which my friends have been posting on Facebook for weeks. It's the message from Elder Nelson, "Men Hearts Shall Fail Them." Watch it:

I cried so hard when I watched this. I felt like it was an answer to my prayer. I realized that my heart has been failing me for fear. But not fear for death. It has been failing me for fear for life. Every heartache and disappointment, every intense trial that has come my way this past year has robbed me of my sense of calm. I spent the past year being so stressed about everything and worrying that things won't work out. Feeling like giving up. Feeling like my life is ruined. Being anxious and full of fear and doubt. So when Elder Nelson spoke of his experience and how even in such a scary and very intense situation he was "totally calm," I realized that the same feeling can be mine if I so choose. Like he said,

"If you've got faith, you can handle difficulties... To the individual who is weak in the heart - fearful in the heart - be patient with yourself. Don't demand things that are unreasonable, but demand of yourself improvement. As you let the Lord help you through that, He will make the difference."

So that's how I feel today. But for the majority of the past year my attitude has been very different, and I'm sure it will take me awhile to get my attitude back on track and negative thinking patterns changed. I've spoken with multiple people I'm close with about how much I hated/despised/loathed/detested the past year. I found myself saying more than once, "May 2011 never repeat itself in history." I have to say that in many ways, I still stand by that sentiment. Wholeheartedly.

But like I said I've been thinking.

Yes, 2011 was hard. It was challenging. It was stupid. The hard and challenging portions are just a part of life - you know, trials and such. And in the spirit of being forthcoming, I'll tell you that the stupid portions were due (mostly) to my own stupidity.

My name is Melissa Nickle, and I am a stupiholic.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Anyway that's not the point. The point I'm trying to make is that with all the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad things that happened this year, I lost focus on all the good things. I didn't blog about those things. I will post more extensively about each of the following items in the future, but for now here are a few examples of the positive things I didn't blog about:

• I didn't blog about the fact that for the 2011 Fall and Winter semesters (in which I was taking a full-time course load) I worked my hiney off and as a result I did better than I ever had previously in my college career, even receiving a 4.0 GPA on my latest report card.*
  *Do they still call them that in college? I'm smart, I promise.

• I didn't blog about my family trip to CA, nor about my Nannie's reaction to receiving her book I compiled for her which she received while we were there visiting. We cried together when she saw it and I am so happy that I was able to finish that for her! It would have been one of the biggest regrets of my life had I not done it! She was able to give the book as a Christmas present to over 20 people and I know it meant so much to her (and to me).

• I didn't blog about my little brother, Braden, receiving his mission call to serve in the Florida Tampa Mission! He leaves in March and I am SO proud of and excited for him! So far all the missionaries in our family have been in the same area of the country. Me: Georgia, Zander: Virginia, Justin: Tennessee, and now Braden; Florida. Who knows where Bryson will go next year!

• I didn't blog about my parties! And I threw some pretty grand shin-digs, let me tell ya. I never blogged about my "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers Night," my third annual "Dutch Oven Cobbler Night," nor did I post about the Murder Mystery Dinner I hosted. I didn't post about the huge combined party my brother and I hosted up at our family's cabin just after Thanksgiving. I love throwing parties - it brings me happiness. I was the creator of a little bit of fun and many memories.

• I didn't blog about the fact that doctors were finally able to determine the cause of my constant sickness the past year. I have been to the doctor at least once a month since last March. It was terrible and nothing was making me better. The result of all of this was that my tonsils came out in December (which was definitely not a "positive" in my eyes), but no matter how difficult (and stinkin' long!) this recovery has been, overall it really IS a positive if it will truly help me to be healthy in 2012! I have so much more respect for the concept of "health" lately.

• I didn't blog about my Grandma Nickle's 90th Birthday Party. I consider both of my grandmothers to be two of my best friends, and it was something I'll never forget to watch my Grandma's reaction to see so many of her posterity in attendance at her party. Her posterity passed 100 a long time ago, and almost everyone was able to come. We took up an entire cultural hall at the church! The love I felt in the room for her was overwhelming in the best way.

• I didn't really blog about how 2011 was the best year my business has had thus far. I accomplished a lot of goals with my business specifically and also within the wedding industry in general. I can only hope (and pray) that the trend continues and that 2012 will be just as good (and hopefully even better)!

• I didn't really mention that I've been dating up a storm the past year. It has been really fun! I've had some super bad dates and have met some rather slimy/idiotic boys, but mostly I've had a lot of really fun dates with truly great men. Some have progressed into several dates and relationships(ish), and some have not. At the end of the day all I can say is that I am so happy to be going on dates and gaining more experience and confidence in that area of my life. For some people, this area of life seems to come pretty naturally/easily. I am not (and never have been!) one of those people, but I'm working on it. And yes, perhaps it has added more drama to my life than was there previously, but what's a girl without a little drama in her life? ;)

• I lost 50 pounds. Yep. And I'm gonna do it again in 2012. And let's be honest, again in 2013. Dang it! :)
  

• In my personal relationship with Heavenly Father, I have come closer to Him in the past couple of months than I've been in awhile. I love this trend and it will certainly continue into the coming year.

There are probably many more things I could add to that list. I have been through many (many, many, many) hard things, but overall I have a lot to be grateful for. And this year, I'm going to try my darndest to focus more on that - on the good things! No matter what hard things may come, I can choose to be calm. I can choose to not get worked up with worry. I can choose to live my 2012 mantra:

"Don't Worry, Be Happy."

poem featured on time out for women

I was contacted a month or so ago by Time Out For Women and was asked if a certain poem I wrote this past summer could be featured on their blog. Well, I was flattered to say the least so of course I said of course!


They featured my poem "dISCREPANCY" this week. You can see the post on the TOFW Blog here.

P.S. I have no idea who the girl is in the photo they put next to the poem haha.

it's the spirit of the season

I just read THIS STORY on yahoo, and I loved it so much. It really shows the goodness of people. I think a lot of times it's easy to focus on how "bad" the world is getting, but it really is so GOOD as well. I love seeing that there are times - even during this so-called materialistic and commercialized season - when generosity supersedes greed.

Mosiah 4:24

"And again, I say unto the poor, ye who have not and yet have sufficient, that ye remain from day to day; I mean all you who deny the beggar, because ye have not;
I would that ye say in your hearts that: I give not because I have not,
but if I had I would give."

counterproductive...?

Curiosity has me begging the question:

Were my good intentions in eating Lean Cuisine for dinner tonight...



...made totally pointless due to the pan of extra-chocolatey brownies I made immediately afterwards?


Some may say this is counterproductive behavior, but after careful study and consideration, my conclusion is: NOPE!

P.S. Yum.

from the mouths of babes

For some reason I woke up at 4 am and I can't fall back asleep (seems to be the case a lot, lately... I blame it on my sleep patterns being messed up from being so sick recently!), so since I have nothing better to do I've been perusing the approximately one million random photos I have on my computer. Fun! And in so doing, I've found a long-lost gem of sorts...

Now let's be honest - high school students practically are infants compared to me at this point. Thus, I am totally justified in entitling this post "from the mouths of babes," because I took the following photo a couple years ago in the parking lot at a Timpanogos High School football game. I found it to be particularly profound then...


... and it remains that way now. Those sweet little innocent children are wise beyond their years.

you sneaky MOM!

I would imagine many of you have seen this already - it's so funny! I especially recommend the two brothers at the end starting at 2:45 in the video. Hilarious!